Farewell to Fish

Today, the last of our tinfoil barbs passed away. I will miss their googly eyes and spooky antics, especially since I feel responsible for their demise. I suspect that they outgrew their tank--four nine-inch fish in a 65 gall on aquarium is pushing capacity. Lately, it seemed as if they were continuously ill, covered with cottony scratches from ricocheting about the aquarium. Every fish owner knows the litany of water quality, filtration, aeration and medication necessary for healthy pets, and how frustrating it is when all your best efforts fail. I suppose a little death should not be so troubling. But it can nag at you. A piece of the world that you were responsible for is gone forever. This little failure generates thoughts of future bigger failures. When will I witness the deterioration and demise of a loved one, with the same feelings of impotence? Life continues despite your success or failure. Maybe that is why some people think that God must be forgiving. Actually, you have to forgive yourself. Maybe in a week or so I'll buy some new fish.