Papa and T were so taken with it that they did their own version. Here's how T's alphabet turned out:
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Alphabet
We saw an interesting video on youtube with a father and son painting the alphabet:
Papa and T were so taken with it that they did their own version. Here's how T's alphabet turned out:
Pretty cool, Eh?
Papa and T were so taken with it that they did their own version. Here's how T's alphabet turned out:
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Indian Pipes
In the afternoon, the three of us took a walk in the forest off of Wasserman Park. It was muggy and you could see little clouds of insects near pools where rain had gathered good to get out since seems like nothing but rain for the last six weeks. noticed odd waxy translucent plants growing in clusters to each side of the trail. looked like flowers, but back of mind told me some sort of fungi. odd coloring from sickly grey to a delicate peach waxy slaks like enoki mushrooms. regreted not having a camera swiped tow samples to identify. indian pipes fairly uncommon a special apperance brought on by the continuos rain. also snatched a tiny tri-petaled beauty which i can't identify. blossom smaller than a dime delicate waxy succulent looking. hope to get out to the forest with camera for some real pictures. 
Friday, July 10, 2009
Suzi!
When we came home from shopping our newest family member was waiting for us. The Leone's drove up from Manchester bringing Suzi. Tennisfiend's eyes were practically glowing he is so happy. Regretable that rained so no test drive. 
Monday, July 6, 2009
Pics of Home
These are some photos Papa Sasha took around the house. 
"Eww! Squeezy Spider!" 
The wooden plank is for Tyoma to walk up. 
The livingroom is no longer green! 
The rag on the table is driving me crazy! Just some random pics. The house is sort of looking more like my ideal...
"Eww! Squeezy Spider!" The wooden plank is for Tyoma to walk up. The livingroom is no longer green! The rag on the table is driving me crazy! Just some random pics. The house is sort of looking more like my ideal...
Pearl
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Post 4th of July Cookout
We had a lovely cook out with papa sasha for our 15th met-iversary! I am so greatful for the meds. I finally feel as if I am myself again. I also felt quite relieved to not have to do any cooking. Our whole meal was put together by TF and Papa Sasha.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
The Deck
We've lived here for over a year, and finally, after several false starts, surprise rainstorms, and moderate procrastination the deck is being stained. It's been a three week process. Tennisfiend has done all the sanding, cleaning, bleaching and prepping, which was not quite the ordeal as our swimming pool in 'Cruces, but plenty of work nonetheless. Last year, we bought some "redwood" stain since it was close to the previous color. We changed our minds after painting the kitchen. Did we want to look out the back door and see ORANGE? Naw. Muted grey. I wonder if the color is too light. E says it's fine and that I'll get used to it. 
Thursday, June 4, 2009
At Last
Finally felt like doing somethingproductive that I'd been putting off. Sent a bunch of cds to the folks. What a terrible thing depression is, anchoring you to yourself.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
I Just Remembered...
I can't believe this. Last night as I was going to bed and pushing out thoughts of, "I've been depressed for years!" and remembering periods of feeling ill; I recalled that I was treated with anti-depressants in my early teens. I even remembered the medication name, Triavil, with blue triangular pills. Holy cow. I hadn't been sleeping and was missing school. I had no energy. I felt sad and took no pleasure in any of the stuff I loved. I was up all night and when I did sleep, I'd sleep until late afternoon. I was in bad shape. I was thirteen.I felt so tired. My folks took me to the doctor (it had been weeks of this) who prescribed meds to "help me sleep." I had forgotten this entire incident of my life.
Distinctly, I recall my mother telling me that the medication was an antidepressant, but that it was only for sleep. In fact, she emphasized this to me so clearly, that I thought it odd at the time. I was to take the medication every night for several weeks and see the doctor again. Withing six weeks I was weaned off of it and never followed up on the mediction. Huhn. I have a family history of depression, bipolar and schizophrenia on both sides. In retrospect, my mother must have been scared for me and perhaps a bit resistant to the idea that I had depression.
All through school, high school, college, others labled my "problems" as nerves and stress. This does make a certain amount of sense, since I am "high strung" just like my dad. We are two anxious peas in a pod. I "did too much" or "tried too hard." Shit, I wasn't doing too much, I was frantically fighting off the symptoms of depression (which I never recognized). Nevertheless, I had an intuition that if I stopped, inertia would strand me in bed and I would never be able to shake off the weight holding me there. I felt so unbelievably tired.
Eventually, I'd get a flu or a cold and I would stop and it seemed like my scrabbling was too feeble to push the exhaustion away. My pattern for some twenty years of schooling has been, doing okay, doing okay, anxiety, anxiety, agitated depression and then clinical depression.
Distinctly, I recall my mother telling me that the medication was an antidepressant, but that it was only for sleep. In fact, she emphasized this to me so clearly, that I thought it odd at the time. I was to take the medication every night for several weeks and see the doctor again. Withing six weeks I was weaned off of it and never followed up on the mediction. Huhn. I have a family history of depression, bipolar and schizophrenia on both sides. In retrospect, my mother must have been scared for me and perhaps a bit resistant to the idea that I had depression.
All through school, high school, college, others labled my "problems" as nerves and stress. This does make a certain amount of sense, since I am "high strung" just like my dad. We are two anxious peas in a pod. I "did too much" or "tried too hard." Shit, I wasn't doing too much, I was frantically fighting off the symptoms of depression (which I never recognized). Nevertheless, I had an intuition that if I stopped, inertia would strand me in bed and I would never be able to shake off the weight holding me there. I felt so unbelievably tired.
Eventually, I'd get a flu or a cold and I would stop and it seemed like my scrabbling was too feeble to push the exhaustion away. My pattern for some twenty years of schooling has been, doing okay, doing okay, anxiety, anxiety, agitated depression and then clinical depression.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Red-haired Boy
Nothing like a reality check before Tyoma's evaluation. Keeping in line with my decision to keep tyoma as active as possible i have been going out with him twice a day. Our morning was outstanding. We started off with a trip to Market Basket. He was jolly and mischievous, taking great pleasure in pushing over cereal boxes and crying "Cutooze!" No fussing or whining for souska. We spent several minutes weighing fruits and veggies, which delights him. We went to Wasserman park afterward. I met another mother with a couple of girls. She was about my age and a pleasure to chat with. Tyoma liked the younger of her two daughters and even ran up to her and said, "Hi kid!" with the sweetest expression on his face! My heart melted! He walked back to the car holding my hand with no complaints or tears! What a great day! After his afternoon rest, we ran an errand and stopped by Veterans park for ten minutes on the big slide (its the park on YouTube). We'd been there for five minutes when a man drove up with his lumbering red-haired son. The boy clambered on the playset and shouted "Eeeee-eeee!" startling me. He started to rock and "eee-eee," climbing on top of the play tunnel. I could not hide my shock, but realizing that the child had autism, I tried to be polite and not whisk Tyoma away. The father awkwardly tried to make conversation but I was too distracted by his near teenage son swinging and whooping near my toddler. Tyoma initially seemed okay, but the kid scared him and he began to cry and shriek. I had to leave. I pitied the father who had to hustle his son back to the car as Tyoma screamed bloody murder. I felt so conflicted, on one hand, autistic kids need to play and have fun too, but heavens, didn't the father realize that his child would frighten such a young child? I wonder if a little awkardness and echolalia in a bright book-reading toddler is such a big deal.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Limp as a Noodle...
I had a spark of joy as I played "limp as a noodle, heavy as a truck" with Tyoma. Getting out really helps me to feel better.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Yellowest Teeth in the Park
Tyoma's ability to tolerate crowds has increased. He is able to go to a moderately crowded playground and amuse himself independently. No screaming meltdowns! He now talks to himself and has even spontaneously greeted others (something he never did before).
He has been picking up on social cues from others in about two outings out of three. He keeps out of the way of older, rowdy kids. He waits his turn and is cautious of smaller children. He still does not initiate play, but he observes others playing with toys and imitates what others do. Wow. What great data gathering on my part. Should have gone clinical...
As I smiled and made pointless small talk with the other mothers, I noticed how perfect everyones teeth were. Highlights, cute jeans, snazzy shoes, fancy phones and dazzling white straight teeth. I never gave too much thought to investing in such a smile and I can't decide if I'm off-put, or jealous.
I'm definitely feeling depressed and sad. It's like I can't move and the smallest effort takes every bit of resolve I have. I just haven't been the same since mom left. That last quarrel with her squashed something vital in me. It's not her fault, but I have so much to do now that I just don't have so much extra for her. Is it unrealistic for me to expect so much from my mother?
She raised me and always had the answers. But now I am doing things on my own and I need some time to take care of my husband and do something for us as a couple without the distraction of drama or hurt feelings. It's funny. Ask too much of Tanya and she's there for you, ask too much from mom and she'll freak out. And reverse, ask too little of Tanya and she'll freak where my mom is pretty happy reading books and doing little. I realize that it's over-simplistic, but I need to strike a better balance with the other women in my life.
Papa with T as I take a coping break.
He has been picking up on social cues from others in about two outings out of three. He keeps out of the way of older, rowdy kids. He waits his turn and is cautious of smaller children. He still does not initiate play, but he observes others playing with toys and imitates what others do. Wow. What great data gathering on my part. Should have gone clinical...
As I smiled and made pointless small talk with the other mothers, I noticed how perfect everyones teeth were. Highlights, cute jeans, snazzy shoes, fancy phones and dazzling white straight teeth. I never gave too much thought to investing in such a smile and I can't decide if I'm off-put, or jealous.
I'm definitely feeling depressed and sad. It's like I can't move and the smallest effort takes every bit of resolve I have. I just haven't been the same since mom left. That last quarrel with her squashed something vital in me. It's not her fault, but I have so much to do now that I just don't have so much extra for her. Is it unrealistic for me to expect so much from my mother?
She raised me and always had the answers. But now I am doing things on my own and I need some time to take care of my husband and do something for us as a couple without the distraction of drama or hurt feelings. It's funny. Ask too much of Tanya and she's there for you, ask too much from mom and she'll freak out. And reverse, ask too little of Tanya and she'll freak where my mom is pretty happy reading books and doing little. I realize that it's over-simplistic, but I need to strike a better balance with the other women in my life.
Papa with T as I take a coping break.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Trip to the Mall
Today we took a trip to the mall and had some chick-fil-a. I usually order the kid's meal with the fruit cup instead of the fries, but its been so long since we've been there that I forgot until after the handed me the bag. I Exclaimed that I meant to get the fruit cup, but by that time the fellow behind us was in mid-order so I left. As I put together our meals at a table, a worker rushed a complementary fruit cup to us! How very sweet!
After lunch we went to the play ground where Tyoma surprised me by greeting a strange child and running to hug a woman with a baby
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Wagon Ride
Friday, May 15, 2009
Swimming!
Today has been one of the warmest days of late, and not too rainy. I took Tyoma out for a little swim and was spied by our neighbor Amdy who waved us over to play. Tyoma completely ignored her and her son, but was captivated by Lily, the three year old over for a playdate. I chatted a bit with Amy, feeling akward and insincere. I had a catcher in the rye moment where I felt like a total fraud. Exchanging platitudes with Amy bored me and I felt she could see how disingenuous I felt. Highschool returned for a moment. Will some part of me always sulk, wearing heavy black eyeliner and somber goth garb, feeling alienated? The notion started to sink in and settle, depressing me, but I shook it off. Ultimately, I realized what a blessing it is to have intelligent and unusual friends. My soul does not belong to a suburban soccer mom! Bring on the quirky intellectuals, Dungeon Masters and fellow nerds! Some cheery pics of Sqirmy D. I was quite proud when he started reading her son's shirt, astounding her completely and perhaps guarenteeing that we will forever be excluded from their barbecues! 
At the Park and the Evaluation
After last weekend's fun at the park we decided to go for another visit and this time Tennisfiend brought the video camera.
On an unrelated note, the evaluation team that was going to meet with us on Monday called. I found out, much to my surprise, that we were to take Tyoma to Manchester for an evaluation and that the whole process could top three hours. I very surprised since I expected a shorter meeting at our home. One of the specialists was supposed to pay me a home visit last November (but never did), so I must have gotten confused. Anyway, out appointment was late enough in the afternoon that I reschedulled for June 12 at 8:30 a.m.
E was in the room with me when I called to reschedule and did some hand-waving to calm me down when I called. I was pissed that nobody took five minutes to let me know what to expect. Anyway, the specialist said she would call me Monday/Tuesday and plan to meet Tyoma and me in person. I suspect that she won't call or meet with us unless I'm a bit pesky. I feel a bit embarassed for getting caught by surprise, but all of Tyoma's other evaluations have been at home so I just assumed. Sigh.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
At Last
Some cute pics of T after his hair cut. If he was pinkish, I think he would look lie Frankenberry!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me!
Well, Tyoma seems to be feeling well enough for E and I to leave on an overnight trip tomorrow. Tennisfiend surprised me with a flower delivery in the morning:
I'm a bit embarassed to post, but flowers are a rare treat! Thank you Moosh!
XO
DB
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
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