Poor Hubby stayed home today, ill with the cold that wiped me and Tyoma out Monday. Dr. Google decided Egor's "pulled hamstring" is actually sciatica, making both of us feel a bit older and fragile.
His pain hits him when sitting, in his car and at his desk. His weekend guitar playing marathons might be the culprit. Sitting on our low profile bed, strums away for hour in a position that certainly looks uncomfortable. Anyway, neither sickness nor sciatica seem to deter his guitar playing or singing, so I'm glad that he is taking off a day and enjoying it. E will consult a real doctor Friday if he is not feeling better.
I'm still mid-YouTube Project, uploading and organizing videos. I was so jazzed over all the organizing, I had trouble falling asleep. Perhaps drinking 1,000 cups of tea contributed.
Life hasn't been all videos and journal transfers, though. I spent time researching autism yesterday morning. I half remembered literature about about depressed mothers and autism and checked it out. Curiously, there is something called the "broad autism phenotype," which pretty accurately sums up where our family is at on the spectrum. Am I diagnosable? Who knows, but I sure fit in on the phenotype.
Looking at heritability and autism, I found some interesting studies. The "gifted" type of autism, ie, autism where one can speak and has intellectual gifts (HFA/Aspereger's with high IQ) often presents alongside family histories of bipolar or major depression. Interesting. Dad's profoundly gifted, E and I are exceptionally gifted and we have depression and bipolar in both of our families. My dad's father was bipolar--in and out of institutions. Both Dad's mother and Egor's mother have major depression. My mom? Hmmmmm. Anxious, compulsive and coming soon on an episode of Hoarder's.
Neurodiversity. I'm lovin' it.
Would I like to change anything about my life? Be less awkward, have more friends? Not if it cost me my thoughts. I'll even keep my depression right where it is--manageable but omnipresent. I am glad for the reduction of anxiety and obsessive thoughts that Lexapro has brought. I can sleep regular hours and my life is not a 24 hour "Strange Addictions" episode, where viewers can watch me google hypochondriacally, ruminate endlessly over my own mortality and imagine vivid scenarios of the deaths of loved ones.
Below is the article I read with regards to autism and bipolar disorder. I have edited the article for readibility, you can find the article in its entirity here.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Clingy!
After almost three days of outstanding behavior, I had high expectations for today with T. The past few Fridays we've had great success with outings, so today when the Clingy Monster reared his head I felt irritated and let down. Sometimes my son can be so baffling!
We started our outing to the mall with the usual complaints and requests to stay home, but with the aid of gummy letters we made it into the car and out of the driveway. At almost every outing, we push over this hump. Once I get past the prelude of protests, obsessive questions, and general mischief, our outings become fun and pleasant. Tyoma's anxiety threshold varies, so each outing I am prepared to brave a certain amount of bellyaching to reach the payoff. Today, he complained more than usual and reward of fun seemed rather far off.
I had trouble adjusting to Tyoma's inattentiveness and persistent disapproval. I think I felt frazzled by the inquisition in the car over digital and analogue clocks. At the mall, I was taking some deep breaths and working hard to ignore the looks from the mothers of calm kids. During one of those breaths, I noticed Tyoma was more relaxed at the mall than last week, when he seemed a bit wild eyed. He glided over to his favorite mosaic of tiles, happily pointing out north, south, east and west (the mosaic looks like and octogram), smiling and seeking me out for approval.
The walk to Chick Fila was stimulating. Tyoma pointed out sale numbers in store windows and eventually became so distracted by them that I needed to scoot him along. He came along obligingly and even waited patiently as I ordered for us. Seated overlooking the big mall clock we inhaled our respective meals. I was pleased to that he gobbled up all of his chicken and fruit with out my needing to nag.
We negotiated a trip to the bathroom for me (he hates the motorized hand-driers). In the bathroom stall he loudly asked me if he could flush away my pee. I chuckled and said "Sure, flush away." I might have been embarrassed, but some part of my brain collapsed ten minutes earlier and I okay with it. Next ,we dropped by GAP Kids to pick up spring/summer t-shirts. There be trouble.
GAP Kids is a great store since their shirts are soft, tagless and have large neck holes. Oh! And their dressing rooms have two-foot tall numbers on them. A trip in the store is a treat for T. Unless, of course, the music is set to "stupefy." Once inside, he started running around and touching everything. His plan was to mortify me into taking him out of the too-loud store. I knew this routine all too well.
At my request, the sales lady turned off the music and Tyoma recovered enough to look at selected shirts. It took two gummies rewards for patience, but he assented to the purchase of four shirts. He also asked for a frilly yellow skirt. I replied that he can choose frilly things in high school, but for now he wears boy clothes. My exasperated delivery elicited a smile form our cashier. As an additional treat, he picked out two pairs of skull socks for mastering the art of putting on his socks. I briefly considered looking for pants but discounted the idea, whizzing out of the store for escalator and elevator rides.
After enough elevator rides to confuse me as to which floor we were on, we left the mall. Tyoma pleaded for a Toys R Us visit, but I feared over-stimulation. We dropped into the nearby Barnes and Noble and had a snack in the quiet Starbucks cafe area. I could see other patrons wince as we selected our seats. I remained brave, reminded T to use his "Number 2 Voice" and saw everyone relax. Our snack was lovely and refreshing. T was calm and introspective. We talked quietly and ate briskly.
Since Tyoma still wanted to look at toys, we dropped by the Toy Spot, which is closing in a week. I should have gone straight home, but foolishly I went. All had gone so well, that I forgot our initial high complaint level. The store had been re-organized and was populated by manic kindergartners and their bargain hunting mothers. Still, I stayed. D'oh.
There was an inevitable meltdown over a "100" poster, which I would have gotten if not for the demanding way he asked for it. He was just too overloaded. We took a break, bought a "make your own board game" and went home.
T was cheery in the car and we set up a pretend race between us and papa (who was coming home early today) to see who got home first. Our evening was unremarkable except for a bedtime meltdown. Tyoma is rarely tearful at night, so I felt guilty for overstimulating. Sometimes I have trouble knowing just when to push and when to pull back. On another day, our outing would have been fun and energizing, just not today. I began to beat myself up, agonizing over my decisions and fretting that I made the evening difficult for the whole household. Seriously, I can't be perfect all the time, but I will try to be more mindful of T's stress level.
Is it odd that I expect perfection? A perfect day without meltdown or conflicts? Look at my home. It's about as perfect as I can make it--almost white glove clean. It is as organized as a home can be without being The Official House of OCD. I long to be flexible and forgiving to myself , but at the same time as I berate, I analyze and build an understanding coping with a behavior. I don't have a feel like other professionals--Ashley, Heather or Jerri. Is something not quite right with me? Why can't I tell what's going on as it unfolds? Why do I rely on the data I keep, filed away and categorized for specific situations and not intuition? Maybe I am not too far reminder from spectrum myself.
We started our outing to the mall with the usual complaints and requests to stay home, but with the aid of gummy letters we made it into the car and out of the driveway. At almost every outing, we push over this hump. Once I get past the prelude of protests, obsessive questions, and general mischief, our outings become fun and pleasant. Tyoma's anxiety threshold varies, so each outing I am prepared to brave a certain amount of bellyaching to reach the payoff. Today, he complained more than usual and reward of fun seemed rather far off.
I had trouble adjusting to Tyoma's inattentiveness and persistent disapproval. I think I felt frazzled by the inquisition in the car over digital and analogue clocks. At the mall, I was taking some deep breaths and working hard to ignore the looks from the mothers of calm kids. During one of those breaths, I noticed Tyoma was more relaxed at the mall than last week, when he seemed a bit wild eyed. He glided over to his favorite mosaic of tiles, happily pointing out north, south, east and west (the mosaic looks like and octogram), smiling and seeking me out for approval.
The walk to Chick Fila was stimulating. Tyoma pointed out sale numbers in store windows and eventually became so distracted by them that I needed to scoot him along. He came along obligingly and even waited patiently as I ordered for us. Seated overlooking the big mall clock we inhaled our respective meals. I was pleased to that he gobbled up all of his chicken and fruit with out my needing to nag.
We negotiated a trip to the bathroom for me (he hates the motorized hand-driers). In the bathroom stall he loudly asked me if he could flush away my pee. I chuckled and said "Sure, flush away." I might have been embarrassed, but some part of my brain collapsed ten minutes earlier and I okay with it. Next ,we dropped by GAP Kids to pick up spring/summer t-shirts. There be trouble.
GAP Kids is a great store since their shirts are soft, tagless and have large neck holes. Oh! And their dressing rooms have two-foot tall numbers on them. A trip in the store is a treat for T. Unless, of course, the music is set to "stupefy." Once inside, he started running around and touching everything. His plan was to mortify me into taking him out of the too-loud store. I knew this routine all too well.
At my request, the sales lady turned off the music and Tyoma recovered enough to look at selected shirts. It took two gummies rewards for patience, but he assented to the purchase of four shirts. He also asked for a frilly yellow skirt. I replied that he can choose frilly things in high school, but for now he wears boy clothes. My exasperated delivery elicited a smile form our cashier. As an additional treat, he picked out two pairs of skull socks for mastering the art of putting on his socks. I briefly considered looking for pants but discounted the idea, whizzing out of the store for escalator and elevator rides.
After enough elevator rides to confuse me as to which floor we were on, we left the mall. Tyoma pleaded for a Toys R Us visit, but I feared over-stimulation. We dropped into the nearby Barnes and Noble and had a snack in the quiet Starbucks cafe area. I could see other patrons wince as we selected our seats. I remained brave, reminded T to use his "Number 2 Voice" and saw everyone relax. Our snack was lovely and refreshing. T was calm and introspective. We talked quietly and ate briskly.
Since Tyoma still wanted to look at toys, we dropped by the Toy Spot, which is closing in a week. I should have gone straight home, but foolishly I went. All had gone so well, that I forgot our initial high complaint level. The store had been re-organized and was populated by manic kindergartners and their bargain hunting mothers. Still, I stayed. D'oh.
There was an inevitable meltdown over a "100" poster, which I would have gotten if not for the demanding way he asked for it. He was just too overloaded. We took a break, bought a "make your own board game" and went home.
T was cheery in the car and we set up a pretend race between us and papa (who was coming home early today) to see who got home first. Our evening was unremarkable except for a bedtime meltdown. Tyoma is rarely tearful at night, so I felt guilty for overstimulating. Sometimes I have trouble knowing just when to push and when to pull back. On another day, our outing would have been fun and energizing, just not today. I began to beat myself up, agonizing over my decisions and fretting that I made the evening difficult for the whole household. Seriously, I can't be perfect all the time, but I will try to be more mindful of T's stress level.
Is it odd that I expect perfection? A perfect day without meltdown or conflicts? Look at my home. It's about as perfect as I can make it--almost white glove clean. It is as organized as a home can be without being The Official House of OCD. I long to be flexible and forgiving to myself , but at the same time as I berate, I analyze and build an understanding coping with a behavior. I don't have a feel like other professionals--Ashley, Heather or Jerri. Is something not quite right with me? Why can't I tell what's going on as it unfolds? Why do I rely on the data I keep, filed away and categorized for specific situations and not intuition? Maybe I am not too far reminder from spectrum myself.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Second Playdate
We went for Tyoma's second playdate with Betty today. Loni called a week ago and I immediately went out and stocked up on two dozen stickers and number post-its for the occasion. Betty's brother Bobby was present this time as well. I was looking forward to seeing Loni and having some adult conversation, but Tyoma kept interrupting. Bobby, while enthusiastic and genuinely interested in T, was in his space a bit much and the added stimulation made him clingy. Plus, Loni chatted on the phone for a while adding to his disorganization. Hmm. Forty five minutes into the playdate, Tyoma announced that it was time to go home. I tried reading and playing along to keep him for the whole hour and we managed to make it. I think that It was a good idea to have Bobby along, it will help Tyoma to learn how to socialize better plus, he really needs to have some playtime with boys. Boys are noisier and more active than girls and Loni's place is a safe place to learn.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Some Results
Jerri suggested that I try to boost Tyoma's structure at home with schedules. I have been having some problems with that, I think that I will turn to using his old picture schedules, since right now he maybe too stressed to process written schedules as well. We shall see.
T's speech therapist wrote me a note telling me how well he was progressing, especially with regards to conversations, eye contact and pronouns. I remember this time last year when I/you were still pretty mixed up. I think it was only in the spring, around the time of mom's last visit that the I/you substantially diminished.
T's speech therapist wrote me a note telling me how well he was progressing, especially with regards to conversations, eye contact and pronouns. I remember this time last year when I/you were still pretty mixed up. I think it was only in the spring, around the time of mom's last visit that the I/you substantially diminished.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Sleep Problems
No Papa + school=nightmares. Tyoma woke up at 4:00 with nightmares and was unable to go back to sleep. To add to the stress of the whole situation, he seems unable to spend more than 10 minutes with Fontessa, without running around and causing mischief. Things will get better wehn Papa gets back.
On the bright side, it is wonderful to have someone here to cook!
On the bright side, it is wonderful to have someone here to cook!
Sleepless Night
No Papa + school=nightmares. Tyoma woke up at 4:00 with nightmares and was unable to go back to sleep. To add to the stress of the whole situation, he seems unable to spend more than 10 minutes with Fontessa, without running around and causing mischief. Things will get better wehn Papa gets back.
On the bright side, it is wonderful to have someone here to cook!
On the bright side, it is wonderful to have someone here to cook!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
First Day of School
Double Whammy! Tennisfiend is off to New Mexico for the week and Tyoma started his first day of school. T's appetite was off today, but I put that up to nerves for the first day of school. It is great to get back to a regular schedule. I spoke to Ms. Jerri about Tyoma's behavior problems, the trouble sleeping, nose wiping and biting. She suggested that I have a little wind down list of things for him to do when he comes home from school.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Red-haired Boy
Nothing like a reality check before Tyoma's evaluation. Keeping in line with my decision to keep tyoma as active as possible i have been going out with him twice a day. Our morning was outstanding. We started off with a trip to Market Basket. He was jolly and mischievous, taking great pleasure in pushing over cereal boxes and crying "Cutooze!" No fussing or whining for souska. We spent several minutes weighing fruits and veggies, which delights him. We went to Wasserman park afterward. I met another mother with a couple of girls. She was about my age and a pleasure to chat with. Tyoma liked the younger of her two daughters and even ran up to her and said, "Hi kid!" with the sweetest expression on his face! My heart melted! He walked back to the car holding my hand with no complaints or tears! What a great day! After his afternoon rest, we ran an errand and stopped by Veterans park for ten minutes on the big slide (its the park on YouTube). We'd been there for five minutes when a man drove up with his lumbering red-haired son. The boy clambered on the playset and shouted "Eeeee-eeee!" startling me. He started to rock and "eee-eee," climbing on top of the play tunnel. I could not hide my shock, but realizing that the child had autism, I tried to be polite and not whisk Tyoma away. The father awkwardly tried to make conversation but I was too distracted by his near teenage son swinging and whooping near my toddler. Tyoma initially seemed okay, but the kid scared him and he began to cry and shriek. I had to leave. I pitied the father who had to hustle his son back to the car as Tyoma screamed bloody murder. I felt so conflicted, on one hand, autistic kids need to play and have fun too, but heavens, didn't the father realize that his child would frighten such a young child? I wonder if a little awkardness and echolalia in a bright book-reading toddler is such a big deal.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Yellowest Teeth in the Park
Tyoma's ability to tolerate crowds has increased. He is able to go to a moderately crowded playground and amuse himself independently. No screaming meltdowns! He now talks to himself and has even spontaneously greeted others (something he never did before).
He has been picking up on social cues from others in about two outings out of three. He keeps out of the way of older, rowdy kids. He waits his turn and is cautious of smaller children. He still does not initiate play, but he observes others playing with toys and imitates what others do. Wow. What great data gathering on my part. Should have gone clinical...
As I smiled and made pointless small talk with the other mothers, I noticed how perfect everyones teeth were. Highlights, cute jeans, snazzy shoes, fancy phones and dazzling white straight teeth. I never gave too much thought to investing in such a smile and I can't decide if I'm off-put, or jealous.
I'm definitely feeling depressed and sad. It's like I can't move and the smallest effort takes every bit of resolve I have. I just haven't been the same since mom left. That last quarrel with her squashed something vital in me. It's not her fault, but I have so much to do now that I just don't have so much extra for her. Is it unrealistic for me to expect so much from my mother?
She raised me and always had the answers. But now I am doing things on my own and I need some time to take care of my husband and do something for us as a couple without the distraction of drama or hurt feelings. It's funny. Ask too much of Tanya and she's there for you, ask too much from mom and she'll freak out. And reverse, ask too little of Tanya and she'll freak where my mom is pretty happy reading books and doing little. I realize that it's over-simplistic, but I need to strike a better balance with the other women in my life.
Papa with T as I take a coping break.
He has been picking up on social cues from others in about two outings out of three. He keeps out of the way of older, rowdy kids. He waits his turn and is cautious of smaller children. He still does not initiate play, but he observes others playing with toys and imitates what others do. Wow. What great data gathering on my part. Should have gone clinical...
As I smiled and made pointless small talk with the other mothers, I noticed how perfect everyones teeth were. Highlights, cute jeans, snazzy shoes, fancy phones and dazzling white straight teeth. I never gave too much thought to investing in such a smile and I can't decide if I'm off-put, or jealous.
I'm definitely feeling depressed and sad. It's like I can't move and the smallest effort takes every bit of resolve I have. I just haven't been the same since mom left. That last quarrel with her squashed something vital in me. It's not her fault, but I have so much to do now that I just don't have so much extra for her. Is it unrealistic for me to expect so much from my mother?
She raised me and always had the answers. But now I am doing things on my own and I need some time to take care of my husband and do something for us as a couple without the distraction of drama or hurt feelings. It's funny. Ask too much of Tanya and she's there for you, ask too much from mom and she'll freak out. And reverse, ask too little of Tanya and she'll freak where my mom is pretty happy reading books and doing little. I realize that it's over-simplistic, but I need to strike a better balance with the other women in my life.
Papa with T as I take a coping break.
Friday, May 15, 2009
At the Park and the Evaluation
After last weekend's fun at the park we decided to go for another visit and this time Tennisfiend brought the video camera.
On an unrelated note, the evaluation team that was going to meet with us on Monday called. I found out, much to my surprise, that we were to take Tyoma to Manchester for an evaluation and that the whole process could top three hours. I very surprised since I expected a shorter meeting at our home. One of the specialists was supposed to pay me a home visit last November (but never did), so I must have gotten confused. Anyway, out appointment was late enough in the afternoon that I reschedulled for June 12 at 8:30 a.m.
E was in the room with me when I called to reschedule and did some hand-waving to calm me down when I called. I was pissed that nobody took five minutes to let me know what to expect. Anyway, the specialist said she would call me Monday/Tuesday and plan to meet Tyoma and me in person. I suspect that she won't call or meet with us unless I'm a bit pesky. I feel a bit embarassed for getting caught by surprise, but all of Tyoma's other evaluations have been at home so I just assumed. Sigh.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Haircut
Since Grandma will be here next week I took Tyoma for his first haircut since Halloween (almost 5 months!!!). Over the summer I had him buzzed pretty regularly, but with his hat aversion, I kept his hair long over the winter months. We went to Snip-its, since the past few haircuts at JC Penney have been a trifle unfortunate.
Alas! I remembered why we went to JCP.
Reminiscent of Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Snip-its décor featured ultra-vivid colors and swirly, fanciful furniture. The kid-friendly videos they blasted out of their army of tiny suspended television sets even sounded like a hundred singing Ooompa-Loompas. No candy though. I reckon the place is perfect for the status-conscious six year old. Not so much for squirmy 2 1/2 year olds.
I wish you could have seen the look of horror on the stylist's face when I requested the televisions off and a private salon chair so Tyoma could sit on my lap as she cut his hair. Her expression was not quite as dramatically terrified as a person hurtling down the highest peak of a notorious rollercoaster, but it was certainly more appalled than a someone watching Hostel for the first time. Was I really that demanding and bossy? Or maybe other toddlers screamed to wake the dead, and she knew by my wild eyes that this was some serious business?
Anyway, I explained that Tyoma is gifted, but sensitive and that he will quickly get over the haircut process if he is distracted. Poor girl almost dropped her scissors when he stated to squirm, but I reassured her that I would tip generously. I reckon this was all she really needed to hear, because things went swimmingly after that. Spelling colors and numbers, Tyoma even relaxed enough to laugh and smile at her. She gave him a fabulous cut and I hope she will work with us in the future. Yay!
Alas! I remembered why we went to JCP.
Reminiscent of Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Snip-its décor featured ultra-vivid colors and swirly, fanciful furniture. The kid-friendly videos they blasted out of their army of tiny suspended television sets even sounded like a hundred singing Ooompa-Loompas. No candy though. I reckon the place is perfect for the status-conscious six year old. Not so much for squirmy 2 1/2 year olds.
I wish you could have seen the look of horror on the stylist's face when I requested the televisions off and a private salon chair so Tyoma could sit on my lap as she cut his hair. Her expression was not quite as dramatically terrified as a person hurtling down the highest peak of a notorious rollercoaster, but it was certainly more appalled than a someone watching Hostel for the first time. Was I really that demanding and bossy? Or maybe other toddlers screamed to wake the dead, and she knew by my wild eyes that this was some serious business?
Anyway, I explained that Tyoma is gifted, but sensitive and that he will quickly get over the haircut process if he is distracted. Poor girl almost dropped her scissors when he stated to squirm, but I reassured her that I would tip generously. I reckon this was all she really needed to hear, because things went swimmingly after that. Spelling colors and numbers, Tyoma even relaxed enough to laugh and smile at her. She gave him a fabulous cut and I hope she will work with us in the future. Yay!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Meeting With Cheri
What a relief to meet with Cheri again! She’s an Early Childhood Educator who has a gifted son with Asperger’s Syndrome. Last fall, I called her for a consult when I was having problems with our speech therapist. Cheri was a breath of fresh air and a burst of positive energy. She observed Tyoma, connected with him (and me!) and declared that he while might be “different” he was still “okay.”
She gave me a ton of useful advice and tips, since he does have some autistic traits. Two weeks later he was talking. Hmmmm? Because of her? I suspect he followed his own internal schedule, but her attitude and encouragement helped me feel more relaxed and confident. Those two weeks felt like the blink of an eye.
Anyway, we had a long and fruitful meeting. She spent two hours with us in the morning, filling out the Hawaii Early Learning Profile used by her center. Tyoma was not only on his best behavior, but he brought out his reserve of extra cuteness to boot. We noshed on cinnamon rolls and sipped tea while the questions rolled on. At 11:30 she took off for another appointment and came back at 1:15 to finish up and generate a treatment plan. What dedication!
At the end of our marathon meeting she told me that Tyoma has very scattered skills and abilities that don't fit any particular profile in the autism spectrum. Much of his behavior is age-appropriate. Certain cognitive abilities are exceptionally advanced. And, of course he has little islands of strangeness. She said that nothing screams autism, but he is different enough to benefit from services—in particular she said that early help with socialization might help him avoid being the sort of nerdy kid that others will single out. He’s on the fence and whether or not he receives services is largely up to me.
So I say, sure! And we worked out a plan where she visits once every 4-6 weeks. Cool! I feel supported, less stressed and confident that our family is following the right path. Yay!!!
She gave me a ton of useful advice and tips, since he does have some autistic traits. Two weeks later he was talking. Hmmmm? Because of her? I suspect he followed his own internal schedule, but her attitude and encouragement helped me feel more relaxed and confident. Those two weeks felt like the blink of an eye.
Anyway, we had a long and fruitful meeting. She spent two hours with us in the morning, filling out the Hawaii Early Learning Profile used by her center. Tyoma was not only on his best behavior, but he brought out his reserve of extra cuteness to boot. We noshed on cinnamon rolls and sipped tea while the questions rolled on. At 11:30 she took off for another appointment and came back at 1:15 to finish up and generate a treatment plan. What dedication!
At the end of our marathon meeting she told me that Tyoma has very scattered skills and abilities that don't fit any particular profile in the autism spectrum. Much of his behavior is age-appropriate. Certain cognitive abilities are exceptionally advanced. And, of course he has little islands of strangeness. She said that nothing screams autism, but he is different enough to benefit from services—in particular she said that early help with socialization might help him avoid being the sort of nerdy kid that others will single out. He’s on the fence and whether or not he receives services is largely up to me.
So I say, sure! And we worked out a plan where she visits once every 4-6 weeks. Cool! I feel supported, less stressed and confident that our family is following the right path. Yay!!!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Fallout
I consulted Tyoma’s Educational Specialist from Early Intervention today regarding the parent/teacher meeting at KinderCare. We talked for a long time about Tyoma’s daycare and options for him. She said she was no advocate for institutional childcare and felt that Tyoma would benefit from a change in environment.
We agreed that an optional place for him would be where he would play with one or two other children. At our favorite Russian food store, ads have been posted for babysitting. I am going to check it out. After using up our balance at KinderCare I will take him out of the program. I put up with the non-stop sickness of daycare solely because our speech therapist said it was necessary for him to talk. Well, he’s yakking away, so fig to you KC!
We agreed that an optional place for him would be where he would play with one or two other children. At our favorite Russian food store, ads have been posted for babysitting. I am going to check it out. After using up our balance at KinderCare I will take him out of the program. I put up with the non-stop sickness of daycare solely because our speech therapist said it was necessary for him to talk. Well, he’s yakking away, so fig to you KC!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Parent Teacher Conference
Tuesday, I had a meeting with Tyoma’s preschool teachers, Miss Rhoda and Ms. Sue (who had to leave early). I was very surprised by the developmental assessment that I was given, which showed very little improvement since the last meeting in November.
Although it was reported that he been interacting more, and showed improved listening, speaking, vocabulary and skills, the report did not match up with the verbal or written reports I was given when I picked him up from school. *deep breath* For example, Ms. Rhoda had reported that he was “nowhere near” forming friendships, when she had actually reported a friendship forming in our November meeting (the child turned three and was moved to another classroom).
Additionally, I have seen him playing alongside the same little girl more than once. I suspect that the winter holidays, in combination with illnesses (the teachers and Tyoma’s) have resulted in a lack of quality teacher/student interaction and thus the discrepancy between reports. Also they could be underpaid and overworked, or perhaps even dimwitted and inattentive. I am open to all possibilities.
Nevertheless, we were in complete agreement on a few important points. Both teachers agreed that Tyoma performs his best when only 2 or 3 students share the same space with him. Having taken Tyoma to many parks and play areas, I completely agree. So I am seriously considering taking him out of KinderCare. Why have him stuffed in a classroom with 12 students and two teachers when he does better with one teacher and two peers?
We can find something better for him. And you know, I’m pissed. How many times did I pick him up and hear accolades on his progress? How many half-assed communications did they send me telling me everything was wonderful? I agreed with their developmental assessment from three months ago. This one doesn’t ring true. WFT.
Although it was reported that he been interacting more, and showed improved listening, speaking, vocabulary and skills, the report did not match up with the verbal or written reports I was given when I picked him up from school. *deep breath* For example, Ms. Rhoda had reported that he was “nowhere near” forming friendships, when she had actually reported a friendship forming in our November meeting (the child turned three and was moved to another classroom).
Additionally, I have seen him playing alongside the same little girl more than once. I suspect that the winter holidays, in combination with illnesses (the teachers and Tyoma’s) have resulted in a lack of quality teacher/student interaction and thus the discrepancy between reports. Also they could be underpaid and overworked, or perhaps even dimwitted and inattentive. I am open to all possibilities.
Nevertheless, we were in complete agreement on a few important points. Both teachers agreed that Tyoma performs his best when only 2 or 3 students share the same space with him. Having taken Tyoma to many parks and play areas, I completely agree. So I am seriously considering taking him out of KinderCare. Why have him stuffed in a classroom with 12 students and two teachers when he does better with one teacher and two peers?
We can find something better for him. And you know, I’m pissed. How many times did I pick him up and hear accolades on his progress? How many half-assed communications did they send me telling me everything was wonderful? I agreed with their developmental assessment from three months ago. This one doesn’t ring true. WFT.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
One Plus One....
Yep, Tyoma's figured out some basic addtion. Thank you Youtube and vintage Sesame Street! Today's big breakthrough was adding one to a number to get the next number up. Tyoma correctly added 1 to the numbers 1 through 45 today, about four times in a row. He's really had numbers on the brain all this week!
His spelling is about the same, 1-10, about a third of his colors plus his usual stuff (20-30 words). This is pretty cool, but not as cool as him playing with a little girl at preschool today! When I came to pick him up, they were playing with felt letters together. He was actually paying attention to her and waiting his turn! Yay Tyoma!!!
His spelling is about the same, 1-10, about a third of his colors plus his usual stuff (20-30 words). This is pretty cool, but not as cool as him playing with a little girl at preschool today! When I came to pick him up, they were playing with felt letters together. He was actually paying attention to her and waiting his turn! Yay Tyoma!!!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Somebody Help Me!
Behavior Log
The past two weeks I’ve been keeping a log to identify problem behaviors and triggers that interfere with Tyoma’s speech therapy and joint attention activities. These observations, along with a retrospective of my journals gave me a “top ten” list of activities that cause distress; i.e. “tuning out” or becoming hyperactive. These situations invariably cause behavior problems. They follow, in order of most intense (serious, continuous or intense meltdowns) to least (fussiness, running away to avoid activity).
Activity | Behavior | Cause? | Solution |
Hair washing | Red faced screaming, shaking, hysteria | Doesn’t like water poured on head | Nothing has ever helped. |
Trips to the beach | Series of meltdowns when movements restricted | Overwhelming, too many new things. He loves the ocean/beach. | Hard to work with. |
Putting on hats. | Cries, pulls off hat. Wails/fights if forced to wear hat. | Always hated anything restrictive on head. | If it’s very cold he’ll wear the hood on his jacket. |
Cleaning ears. | Fights/screams | Sensory | Work quickly & distract. |
Haircuts. | Fusses, twists about. | Hates water sprayed near face/ hair touched by stranger | The right stylist makes the difference. |
Speech Therapy/ Dr. Appointments | He runs off, becomes “hyper.” | Overstimulation? | Still working on it! |
Serious Conversations | Hyper, gets into stuff. | Sensitive to tone of voice. (not volume) | Give attention, talk elsewhere. |
Wal-Mart. | He fusses and tries to get out of the cart | Sensitive to noise from TV/loudspeakers | Redirect attention, rock cart. |
Bookstores | Fusses, tries to get out of stroller. | Distracted by print? Does not have trouble at toy stores. | Be quick, rock stroller. |
10:50 and 4:10 Madness | Hyper, gets into stuff. | Hungry, needs to burn off energy. | Intense play, snack |
Behavior is communication. I’m not sure if I identified all the causes of Tyoma’s challenging behavior, nor am I certain that I am using the best solutions. But I am certain that by sharing this with you that we can develop a plan to help make his therapy sessions more productive.
Let me add a bit more about Tyoma’s behavior. His baseline is sweet, affectionate, and compliant with just a touch of mischievousness. His remoteness and hyperactivity are not predominate or persistent. They occur in specific situations and usually have specific triggers.
Let me add a bit more about Tyoma’s behavior. His baseline is sweet, affectionate, and compliant with just a touch of mischievousness. His remoteness and hyperactivity are not predominate or persistent. They occur in specific situations and usually have specific triggers.
Remoteness
Tyoma can tune the world out. When he does, he will rarely respond to prompts or look at you. This frequently happens when he is deeply focused on a favorite task (attentiveness will return after he’s finished). I am not troubled by this type of self-absorption—I consider it to be willful ignoring and his Papa and Grandpa are masters of it. What concerns me is the other type of “spaciness” where he is truly in his own world.
I’ve noticed that this aloofness is often connected to his health. At home, the aloofness goes hand in hand with fevers, blue circles under his eyes, cold symptoms and fussiness. Tylenol and cuddling make the difference. I’d estimate that 70% of his remoteness in our home is associated with him not feeling well. This is unfortunate, since preschool floods our house with new viruses every other week.
His remaining remoteness I ascribe to some sort of mental overload. New activities, uncertainty of expectations and too many distractions contribute to Tyoma shutting down. He won’t answer questions, participate in activities or even look at you. This reaction goes hand in hand with hyperactivity.
Hyperactivity
Tyoma sometimes transforms from the sweet well mannered boy I know into the hyper-monster. He runs about, gets into stuff and tests limits. A part of this behavior is the need to burn off some physical energy. I can predict when he needs a break by the time of day. Break given=energy spent, his focus and attention return. Being overtired or hungry also brings out the hyper-monster. I suspect that this behavior is fairly normal and that most toddler boys need to run around, eat when they’re hungry and sleep well.
This hyperactivity becomes demanding when it interferes with play, speech therapy and conversations with other adults. Tyoma probably has some sensory issues that contribute to this problem. The novelty factor is a major influence. And I am all out of time! I’ll finish this up for you later!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Timeline 2008
I have organized a developmental timeline for Tyoma. As he gets older and I watch other children, I can clearly see that he is different. I will be posting information on my blog for future reference and to help me process where he fits in on the "normal" scale.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
"EXIT"
It's been a few weeks since Tyoma started spelling, but I finally managed to take a picture.
He can spell about 10-15 words and I'm pretty sure that he can read twice as many. Actually, he probably started to read over the summer, in fact he could probably read before he could speak. Weird. the question is, does he understand what he reads? I think so. He knows what "open" means and how it is spelled. He can pick out text everywhere. I drive to the store and he points out the open signs. What an odd world he must perceive. All this text, numbers, letters around him. I wonder if he searches for meaning or if he just files away the information into his memory?
Mom sent links for hyperlexia. I see so much in T, but then there is a disconnect. He does so well at home, with people he trusts and random people at the store but he can have an unaccountable aversion to some folks.
Mom sent links for hyperlexia. I see so much in T, but then there is a disconnect. He does so well at home, with people he trusts and random people at the store but he can have an unaccountable aversion to some folks.
Friday, November 21, 2008
A Drummer at Last!!!
At long last! I am so relieved that Tyoma is banging on pots and pans instead of arranging them into abstract patterns (well, only arranging them!) Also, his speech has picked up a good deal. He's starting to make simple three word sentences, not always every day, but often enough to be encouraging. Yay!
I wonder if the new diet is making a difference?
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Lil' Organizer
Such a mischievous look! Tyoma organizes a mosaic of blocks. "Who me, PDD-NOS?! Nah!!! Got anything else I can line up?"
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