No Pooping in the Bathtub!

We've been having problems with poo. It seems like Tyoma is going through a phase where poop is the most fascinating thing ever. Since Fontessa left, he has been getting into his soiled diaper during naptime/bedtime and smearing poo all over his crib, toys and wall. He used to knock on the wall ("poop-knocking")when he poopy. He even learned to yell, "Come get the poo!" The next step, obviously, in toilet training. Unfortunately, my focus shifted during Fontessa's wonderful visit and the momentum was lost. Phooey! Well, actually, "Pooo-ey!"
Each poop adventure has been a total shock. I can't believe he's doing this! Poo migrates into the tiniest crevices on his little body, deep under his nails, into folds of skin, behind his ears and into the creases of his nose. And his hair? Yes, there too.

He hates shampooing. Struggling with his poop-besmirched torso and limbs as I scrub his hair is no picnic for either of us. So I turned to the trusted forums of babycenter.com. It helps to read other parent’s exasperated “Poop Picasso” stories and learn that the consensus is “just a phase.” Destroying that solace are the autism Nazis, demanding that everyone have their child evaluated for persistent poo-players. Everybody has an opinion, you just have to pick out what seems right to you and give it a try.

One theory is that the warm bath following a poop excursion is a reward sought out by a child—cold showers, or cold “spritzes” are supposed to be a surefire cure. I don’t know--he hates having his hair washed. Why go through that ordeal when he can just ask for a bath?

So what to do? I decided to start giving him baths right after nap, whether or not there’s poo (removing that unlikely motive). Plus, I suit him up in a poop-suit (aka onsie) before naps. The results? The poop suit works. But he saves his poops for the tub.

Today is the third time in two weeks that he’s pooped in the tub. I am at my wits end. Bored with his bath, I sat on a stool next to the bath and played Tetris. Two minutes later, I looked up to see little brown submarines floating around. "Ewwwww! Poo!" Tyoma gleefully exclaimed. I had a "This can't be happening again" moment of unreality. Worst. Poop. In. Tub. Ever.

Taking a deep breath, I scornfully stated, “No pooping in the bathtub! Bath is over if you poop in the bathtub!”  I snatched him out of the tub and Tennisfiend whisked him to his room for a cleanup.

Still stunned, I scooped out the soft  warm poo with paper towels. I was surprised with my own revulsion. I've been wiping up poop for almost two and a half years, and this squicks me out?!  Maybe in the context of diapers or fingerpainting it's just baby poop. But placidly bobbing in a warm bath, it's obscene. It's a bowel movement!

In the back ground, Tennisfiend echoed my "No pooping" quote. This obviously made an impression since Tyoma's been repeating the phrase to the Pink Panther over and over. He’s also been saying, “Poop artists get a cold shower. Poop knockers get candy” (another strategy). I’m hoping to get this behavior under control before mom comes. The last thing she needs is to get stuck with a poo painting session while I’m not around.