Cakewalk

I spent most of today getting ready for Tyoma's party. Please help me understand why I obsess over cleaning so much! My folks wanted to select Tyoma's birthday cake so I met them at our favorite Albertson's. Mom and Dad took turns chaperoning Tyoma around the store as my eyes glazed over looking at Shrek and Cars cakes. He returned from his second tour of the store with a cute fuzzy gorilla and a big smile. My folks are so going to spoil him! Anyway,after fifteen minutes of leafing through the Monster Cake Book of Tackiness, we wound up choosing a simple "Happy Birthday" cake. Screw you, Walt Disney!

Little Animal

I slunk into Tyoma's room to nab the dirty laundry I forgot to pick up before I put him to sleep.  The light and my rummaging partially woke him. I hear little grunts and the crinkly rustling of the waterproof mattress pad.  Instantly I was transported to a different place.

His room became a grotto, filled with animal smells, heavy dark  and dampness. I looked at his crib as if it were a cage and he was some strange little zoo creature to be stared at. The alien-animal feel of my son was so strong, that it was simultaneously humorous and unnerving.  It is so easy to forget in our world of words, skyscrapers and sidewalks that we are still animals.

Bath Time

A Cute Pic of Tyoma in the tub. Notice how he does an Austin Powers with his inflatable toy! He is so huge compared to the little tub! He becomes frightened it I put him in the big tub, so issy-pissy tub it is.

Get Out of Here!

About four weeks ago, Tyoma started his essential vocabulary list. The words are:
1. Mama
2. Bua (Papa)
3. Grrlll (gorilla/Misty)

He seems to think that our dog Misty is a gorilla. Why does he think Misty is a gorilla? Well, we read him "Goodnight, Gorilla" and show him fuzzy baby animal books with gorillas in them. Their black fur matches Misty's, plus, Misty's nickname is "Girlfriend." After weeks of "gggrrrll-aaah's" Mom has decided to make his birthday a Jungle Affair:


Can you believe this?Holy-Moley! Is this not the weirdest/coolest thing you've ever seen?! Little Tyoma will be the olny kid on the block with a gorilla rocker. Thanks folks!

Eleven Months

Whoa, almost a year old. To celebrate we took pics:



 Since Tyoma imitates my sniffing while I cope with a cold, I caught him mid sniff:   For some odd reason the abouve picture reminded me of this:

From blog

How Babies Get Their Protein

After work Tennisfiend and I spend quality time with Tyoma in “my” bedroom. Tyoma scrambles about, trying to stand or yank books from the shelves. One of us reads or works on the computer as the other one keeps an eye on Tyoma. Since the cricket infestation, we vigilantly vacuum up little cricket carcasses as they appear.

As I checked my email Tennisfiend called out a loud “STOP” (Russians say it with a hard O as in boat). To me he said, “Quick, he’s about to put an insect leg in his mouth. In a flash I was out of my seat and on the floor prying the leg out of his right hand. I heard another thunderous “STOP!” from Tennisfiend. “The other hand! The other hand!”

Our jolly baby, much amused by the commotion, was laughing as he attempted to stuff the contents of his left hand in his mouth. As I pulled his hand from his mouth I got a glimpse of his intended snack and screamed. A juicy, thumb-sized wolf spider quivered its last. My scream startled Tyoma and annoyed Tennisfiend, who scooped the crying baby off the floor with a theatrical “Gospedi!”   (Oh Lord!)

Poop Day

Moms learn quickly to be suspicious when little ones are too quiet. They have clearly found an entirely new and fascinating way to cause trouble and chances are, you will have one heck of a clean-up to do.

Tyoma played quietly as I pumped his lunchtime breast milk. I could see and hear him happily entertaining himself in the baby gulag. I finished up, trotted into the kitchen, put on water for coffee and fixed breakfast. He continued to babble happily—no shrieks, yells or hoots (his latest milestone is making an awful racket). As I walked past the gulag on the way to the bathroom I received the shock of my life. 

Unprecedented Monster Poop Explosion--all over the playpen. I was so astounded I didn’t even speak. Tyoma looked up at me and smiled sweetly, waving the same little poopy hands that had smeared a foul greenish-yellow trail around the sides of the gulag. His arms, elbows, legs and knees were poopy. The track they left on the white matelasse bedspread under the gulag looked like a gigantic bull’s eye target done in poo. He had poop on his feet, face and neck. Miraculously, his hair was spared.

Did I mention his toys were poopy? Oversize fabric blocks, talking tops, musical balls, and teethers streaked with brown.  Oh, Lord. I tried to change him and clean him up in the nursery but he smeared poopy rainbows on the wall. I scrambled to clean him up in the shower, but quit when I could not find my shower chair. With the baby bathtub in the kitchen sink, I managed to hose the poo off with the kitchen sprayer. To squeals of delight, I changed him on the nursery floor since the changing table was a disaster area.

I called mom to watch baby as I cleaned up and I spent the next two hours hard at work. I disassembled the gulag, hauled it out to the driveway, scoured it thoroughly, rinsed it with the pressure washer and left it to bake in the 100 plus afternoon sun. I defy poo germs to survive that!  Similarly I washed toys, blankets and the gulag matelasse. I scrubbed a few spots on the carpet and called it a day.

E.T.A. 6-30-2007

A mini-poo tsunami was caught before a full gulag contamination. Turns out Tyoma has been ripping off the right hand diaper tab as he is being changed, thus causing the diaper contents to leak. So, when Tennisfiend we change diapers, we make sure both tabs are on firmly.

Ten Months Old!

 Holy cow! Tyoma is only ten months old, but in this photo he looks much older! Like, "Give me the car keys" older. It must be me. I'm recovering from an energy zapping flu with much help. Tennisfiend stayed home from work on Tuesday to care for baby while I slept and slept, complaining just a little (neck rubs=10,000 antibiotics). Mom brought daily crates of soup, Yoplait and Jello, taking over for Tennisfiend as needed. I had to cancel this weekend's pool party with Ewbliette and hubby. Hey, the heat isn't going anywhwere so we'll reschedule soon.

We've been teaching Tyoma about animals. Here's his tiger impression. :)

Baby Stuff

Return of the Mommy-Blog! Squirmer missed his morning nap and fussed until he conked out for an extended afternoon nap. Tooth pain was certainly the culprit. His second nap was an Elysian respite for mum and dad. I took this time to relocate his baby play arena in the sunroom by my computer, imagining that he would cry less if I was in full sight.

Anyway, this was a brief and annoying experiment. The acoustics of the sunroom are such that baby seems to be positioned two inches from my ear with a megaphone. I found that each minute in the playpen incrementally boosted by aggravation to an unprecedented level of pissiness. The playpen is back in the library.

Buttcracks and Bruises!

Back to posting pics. With the advent of hot weather, we've been wanting to introduce our wee one to the pool. So, compliments of Tanya, we are starting with baby steps, or rather a baby pool:




The plumber's butt is pretty obvious, but can you see the constellation of tiny bruises on baby? Much to my horror, the poor little devil has been knocking himself about the head and limbs trying to stand up.


 
Those stars look way too freakin' cheerful.

Tyomasaurus Rex

Grandpa calls Tyoma "Tyomasaurus Rex" since he's sucha big guy! 98th percentile, dudes!

Easter Sermon

 Heh. Looks like he's bringing down the word from way up high. We totally skipped Easter this year. Not even a single colored egg. My folk's neighbor did send us a lovely homemade basket of candies. Next year, it will be a blast.
On serious note, he does look rather intense? Don't you think?  We have him out in the stroller for some fresh air and soothing, since strolls arounfd the backyard settle him down.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Tonight we're dining on a traditional feast of corned beef, cabbage and potatoes, a la crock pot for dinner. This is a bit of a treat since we have been trying to economize due to the job situation. Anyway, why would I post text without a baby pic? This was taken by Papa:
 
 I just noticed that Tennisfiend put our little skipper on the ocean wave side of his favorite quilt (Thank you, Helen!). Clever fellow!

Tennisbaby

 Papa's already showing baby the ropes!

I swear this is the cutest pic! ( I seem to be saying that a lot, eh?) Little Tyoma looks astonished, as if to say, what! Play a game today? With This??

He has the sweetest temperment! We have been working with him to ensure that his sleeping patterns get hard-wired into his little brain. I've been devouring books on sleep and nutrition for the little guy. So "sleep hygeine" is a must. E, Dad and I all have trouble with nighttime sleep, so I'm working hard to keep Tyoma on track.

We have a little ritual of reading we do before baby bedtime. The little guy loves to cuddle and read books. The final book we read is "Fuzzy Bee."

I have the whole story memorized, so I can rock him and tell him the story. The funny thing is that once he sees the Fuzzy Bee book, he starts to cry and fuss since he knows what's coming next!

Kerchief

Cutie-pie

This is the sweetest picture! Tyoma's started to roll over in his sleep and when we checked on him this morning he looked so adorable!

Baby Shots

Tennisfiend went with me for Tyoma's six month shots. Everything went smoother than last time when I had the crying/puking spectacle. Actually I was more worried about me doing the crying/puking thing, since my flu lingers. Thank heavens that Mom will be over to help tomorrow so I can get some more rest.



BTW, I can feed Monster Baby lots more solids. A good idea since my boobs are getting tuckered out (off no bf meds).

Couldn't Help Myself

I'm feeling a less anxious now, so I'm enjoying some time outside with my little supervisor. Gardening at last seems like a realistic pursuit. I couldn't help but post the full size pic since Tyoma is so adorable!  I seem to have little time or mental energy for long posts, so this will be the blog for now.

Peas!

Yep. I promised myself I'd avoid it, but for now, this is a mommyblog. Anyway, this is a bit backdated as I try to shuffle my life in order. Please enjoy, "Baby's First Peas."


 

He is the sweetest, cutest, cutest little thing! While feeding him in the sunroom he loked just like a baby birdy, opening his mouth for a bite to eat!