Mastitis

Last night I started shivering at nine in the evening. I continued to shiver with increasing violence until two a.m., when I became alarmed and woke up Tennisfiend. I took my temperature while he made me some hot tea. Naturally, I consulted our medical library and diagnosed myself with mastitis.

Breast pain? Check. Chills? Check. Fever? Check. Headache? Check. And so on. First thing in the morning I called Gretta Granola who confirmed my suspicions. She gave me a list of self care suggestions and told me she'd call me in the afternoon to see if I was any better. I shook and sweat all day. Since I just felt worse, she called in an antibiotic prescription for me. This sucks. The last thing I wanted was to start taking meds while I'm trying to breasfeed. Anyway, there should be no problem with nursing with this antibiotic, it just sucks to be sick.

Gretta Granola

Today Tennisfiend, Tyoma and I visited our lactation consultant, Gretta Granola. She had visited me on my third day in the hospital since my nipples were so inflamed from breastfeeding. At the time, she could find no problem with my latch and seemed a bit mystified over my super-sore nipples.

Anyway, I am still sore as hell so I needed to see her, again. I was rather nervous about the appointment, since I had the feeling that she would be judgmental toward me. Sometimes earthy folk take exception to aging goth-types. She wound up being very sweet and helpful, I guess what I took as distance at the hospital was concern for my breastfeeding future. I learned a bit about my latch and had a very comfortable experience with her. Tennisfiend was utterly bored and skulked behind her, looking at his watch surreptitiously. I hope that her suggestions clear up any problems I was having so I can wean myself from the breast pump..

Tyoma's First Appointment

Whew! Today we took Tyoma for his first pediatrician appointment. The hardest part was getting comfortable in the waiting room. Dr. Candy Coppola recently moved to a new location, and with it came new furniture. Her Southwestern decor is quite tasteful but a bit of an odd choice.  It looks as if she duplicated a trendy page from Santa Fe magazine, right down to the Navajo rugs and carved hardwood furniture.  It was more of a dentist's office than a waiting room for kids. Actually, her new furnature would be an odd choice for any office since the hard wood furniture is bulky, angular and unpleasant as stone to sit on. Looks swell, though.  Strangely, the toys looked shabby and overused.

Maybe the problem wasn't the furniture so much as it was my poor sore bottom. I could not sit down!  The couches had no cushions, and the stack of Highlights magazines was not any softer. I had to ask the receptionist to borrow a computer chair so I could sit. With surprise she told me that no one had mentioned the uncomfortable seats before. I would have been offended if they had been in their new location for more than a week. As it was, I gave her a wan smile and gratefully sat down.

Tennisfiend quickly became bored with the wait and began rolling his eyes and making faces. At least he wasn't moaning, "Skuchna!"  ("Boring") in deep baritone. The nurse, Lupe,  who took us to the exam room managed to pronounce Artyom's name correctly the first time. She weighed him and Dr. Coppola joined us. She fielded questions for the next half hour, encouraging us to call the nurse if we have any questions. I wonder if she knows how neurotic I am. Heh.

Our Son Born!

Yeah, this is so backdated. And also so unfinished.

Since it will take me an eternity to post my birthstory in its entirety and I am such a perfectionist, I'll just post a timeline, otherwise Artyom will be in college before I finish.

12:10 am Contractions wake me up. I time them to see how regular they are. I am excited that they are painful and regular, but not too excited. This will be the fourth morning in a row that this has happened.

2:15 Woke up Tennisfiend to help time contractions, they are becoming more painful and regular. Yay!
4:00 Continued contractions, resisted the urge to call birth partners (Momfiend and Ewbliette).
5:45 Contractions slowing down, irregular. This sucks! Thank heavens I have an appointment scheduled this morning.
7:00 called Ewbliette to give her a heads up before work. I felt rather stressed, can’t recall exactly what I said to her! I reckon I was incoherent.
9:30 am Ultrasound reveals that amniotic fluid is very, very low. Labor needed to be induced this morning for the well being of the baby. Sarah Seamstress, our midwife, told us we have time to stop by the house to pick up our bags.
10:30 Bags in the car, we are on our way to the hospital. TF calls Moscow, I call Momfiend and Ewbliette. 10:45 Waiting to be admitted. Seems to take forever! Patricia meets us at the hospital (her co-workers rejoice) She brings a ton of trashy tabloid magazines (including the World Weekly News, which I aspire to write for!). A true friend indeed!
11:30 Finally we have a room. It is very nice, like a hotel suite almost. We treat it like a hotel, filling up all the cabinets with our stuff--pillows, bags, drinks, books. It looks like a bunch of nerds are going to have a sleep over.
12:30 Momfiend arrives. She is bringing even more stuff with her. Her 42” expedition back pack is loaded down so heavily that she needs TF to help her remove it. I contemplate the logistics of Momfiend and the backpack, wondering how she ever managed to get it on her back in the first place. Everyone is jolly, joking and cheerful, this definitely feels like a sleepover!
12:45 Sarah Seamstress visits and performs an internal exam; she gives me a tablet to induce labor. IV is inserted, I am remarkably not as freaked out by it as I thought I would be.
1:05 Contractions begin again, and these puppies are really painful. My team hunkers around me: Ewbliette coaches my breathing, Momfiend times each contraction and Tennisfiend pets my head. I alternately contemplate my dad’s moonstone and Ewbliette’s eyes. The contractions begin to come just minutes apart close and the pain intensifies. This is absolutely unbelievable. I am practically screaming my “hee-hee” breathing as Ewbliette coaches me. Mom squeezes my hand as if she could take some of the pain away herself.
1:25 Despite my resolve to avoid painkillers, I ask for Stadol to hold me over until the epidural. The Stadol doesn’t take away the pain, but it helps me relax enough for the epidural.
1:35 Sarah Seamstress does another internal exam, I am dilated between 4 and 5 cm, time for an epidural! If I weren’t so preoccupied with contractions, I’d be more cognizant of my gratitude.
1:40 The epidural team clears the room, a very Nordic looking nurse talks me through contractions as her older twin sister applies the epidural. Relief takes some time, but when it finally hits, it is complete. I am comforted, knowing that after several sleepless nights, I can get some rest.
2:00 Very cold. Momfiend and Ewbliette haul out my sweater and socks. Once I warm up, I alternate between resting and chatting with my birth partners. I look across the room to see TF browsing through The Globe. Momfiend has on her giant eye reading glasses and peruses a detective novel. Ewbliette is just out of my field of view, but I bet she’s reading The Weekly World News. Some rednecks caught Osama in Alabama, you know. I feel wonderfully fortunate.
4:00 A nurse rolls me on my side to help Artyom’s heart rate. 4:10 The nurse returns to roll me onto my other side.
4:30 It’s time to begin pushing. Tennisfiend leaves us, expecting to have his son in his arms within the next hour. Our team is so ready! We have been practicing with our DVD for the past few weeks. Ewbliette will count out loud “One, two, three, PUSH! Four, five, six, PUSH! Seven, eight, nine, PUSH!” While Momfiend supports my legs and knees, and fetches a damp washcloth in between contractions. 5:00 Contractions are not strong enough, they add pitocin to the IV to make them stronger.
5:15 Pushing is hard with an epidural! I can feel when to push, but not exactly how to push. Sarah has her fingers (hand?!) in my hoo-hah and presses down, to tell me to push “there.” She tells me 40,000 times how to hold my legs. Every bit of success is met with cheers by my midwife, birth partners and whatever staff also happens to be in the room.
5:45 Lost bowel control, pooped all over the place. I had wanted to take an enema before leaving for the hospital, but since my amniotic fluid was so low, I was worried about harming Artyom. Anyway, nothing a few tasteless jokes can’t fix. Although the nurses have probably heard them all, I relish the chance to make Momfiend and Ewbliette chuckle. Wish I could remember exactly what I said!
6:00 Still pushing, though I am getting better. I am pushing at every contraction. Bless the epidural, I would be so tired now without it.
6:30 Still pushing. I have enough energy to joke in between contractions.
7:00 Still pushing. Not so many jokes now. I appreciate Ewbliette's loud coaching and worry about my Mom's hip since she is holding my left leg.
7:38 Artyom is stuck in my birth canal. Sarah calls Dr. Aggitator to bring the forceps/vacuum extractor. He will arrive in ten minutes.
7:40 Sarah tells me to keep pushing, we might make it without the forceps. She guides my hand down to feel Tyoma's little head. I burst into tears and push like a motherf***er.
7:47 Two pushes later, I squeeze him out without the aid of forceps! They put him on my belly and I weep copiously. To be continued...

Happy Birthday Tennisfiend!

Thank you Auntie Marina for the sentimental photo from overseas! The little doggie is Druzhyok, E's childhood lovey, dressed in a traditional Russian outfit, handmade by Auntie!

Tennisfiend, with all of the hullabaloo over Artyom’s inevitable arrival, we can’t forget your birthday! We worked hard to surprise you!

I hope that you enjoy your grill master’s themed birthday, complete with a charcoal grill, and obscure accessories! What a selfish gift to give, really, since all that fine gourmet grilling will wind up in my tummy! Yum!

All Is Well

Had my ultrasound, Malootka is doing fine! No problem with my placental grade. The ultrasound tech said I was normal and not to worry. The baby has a great heart rate with no arrhythmia and all his other little parts are fine.

My amniotic fluid is a touch low--they were looking for a 10 when I had an 8--but everything else is swell. A follow up scan is scheduled for next week, just in case. Whew! Ate a delicious plate of ribs to celebrate!

Soon...

I look more zaftig than preggers!

Misty Care Sheet For Dadfiend

Dad! Here's everything you need to know for Misty and our House while everyone is at the hospital:

Misty

Feeding

We feed Misty in the morning after we have eaten (she usually won’t eat before since she wants our food instead!). She gets a can of dogfood and two scoops of dry food mixed with a treat. 

Problem Foods

Avoid giving Misty eggs, milk products (including creamy soups, sour cream & yogurt), almonds, walnuts, pecans and chocolate.

Misty is fine with peanuts, all meats, bread, grains. She can have a small amount of beans and cheese (Velveeta cheese slices) without problem. You can give her as much doggie biscuits as you like, she tolerates them well.

Tummy Trouble

If you think Misty has tummy trouble, three things seem to help:

• Give her broth to drink, about ¼ of a cup every half hour to replace fluids. If you think she needs some energy, a spoon or two of honey is helpful.
• No people treats for two days (a few doggie treats are fine).
• Wait at least six/eight hours after her last bout of sickness to feed her. Skip the dry dog food and give her one can of dogfood, you can give her another six/eight hours later.

Hydration/Heat

Sometimes Misty forgets to drink enough water. Filling a quart jar with fresh water in front of her seems to help. On a very hot day, you might want to keep her in during the hottest hours. She will chase lizards until she drops!

Late Night Restlessness

If Misty rams around late at night (11pm-3am), wanting outside, chances are her stomach is upset. She usually wants to go outside to eat a mess of grass-- not to be sick. The grass she eats will cause vomiting. Watch her very carefully outside, she is terribly sneaky about grass eating. After a walk or two outside, we usually keep her in and toss a special “barf carpet” by the door if she gets sick.

If she doesn’t seem interested in sneaking away from you to eat grass, she might want to hunt neighborhood cats--especially if her tail and ears are up. This usually happens around the full moon.

Misty might want outside around dawn (430am on). This is normal.

Doggie Meds

We will give you some doggie calm meds for Misty. The dosage is ¼ tablet, although she can take up to one whole tablet. We have never given her more than ¼ tablet in a twelve hour period. The tabs seem to take 3 hours to reach a maximum effectiveness (they might not seem to work at all till then!), and then they last for another four to eight hours.

When we leave for the hospital, we will leave you a note/message with the time of the last dosage we gave her to keep you from dosing her too soon. You don’t need to give her any more meds unless you choose to. In fact, she may be just fine and not need any until we are ready to bring her home. We’ll give you call to dose her a few hours before I come home.

Misty’s Vet:            Dr. Calista 525-1000

                                    1080 Medpark Drive

Other House Stuff

You are welcome to come on over and watch dvds on our TV. I’ll leave you detailed instructions and hopefully have things set up for you.

You don’t need to worry about mail or the lights, but you are welcome to check on each.

Sunroom Flooding

• If the water is more than halfway up the sunroom floor, turn off the breaker switch to the sunroom. The switch will be marked in the laundryroom.
• We will leave our pump hooked up so all you need to do is plug it in if it floods. Plug the pump into the outlet with the blue tape on it. Or use the extension cord if the room is too flooded. Be sure to use chairs to keep the cord connections out of the water if you use the extension cord.
• The pump will need time to prime itself, this can take five-ten minutes. You can hasten the process by priming it in a basin filled with water that we will leave nearby.
• We will leave towels out in case you need them. If we forget, they are located on a cube shelf in the big closet in our bedroom (the one with the door on the south wall). Please don’t worry about cleaning up anything. E will be happy to have something to do when he comes home!

 Yay! Thank you!

Placenta Problems?

I asked my midwife if she had received the results of from my perinatologist appointment in El Paso. Clara said yes and proceeded to read me the results, which were, "Normal, normal, normal, normal, normal, huhn?!"

Apparently my placenta is maturing a bit rapidly, which could be a problem. She scheduled an ultrasound for me next week to check on the age of the placenta. I've spent the balance of the day perusing the babycenter.com chat rooms, feeling successively relieved and anxious.

Ultimately, if a problem serious existed, Dr. Topgun would have said something and Clara would have given me an Ultrasound right away. I am going to eat a banana with a heap of peanut butter for comfort.

Buying A Pump

After spending three hours wringing out wet towels last night to drain the sunroom finally agreed that we needed to break down and buy a pump. I was inordinately excited about a trip to Lowes (yay shopping!) until I spent fifteen minutes standing around while Tennisfiend meticulously studied the pump assortment.

I dragged a white five gallon paint bucket over to the pump aisle and took a seat across from the display security camera system so I could entertain myself while TF satisfied his research instincts. Thirty minutes later, after some discussion, we left with a moderately priced pump that will hopefully suck out the next onslaught of flood waters. To commemorate my victory in the pump war (I've been campaigning for one since last summer), TF took my pic in the back yard. I'm eight and a half months pg!